Anti-Social Networking?

I was just thinking about a recent conversation I had while I was in New Zealand, and I came across this related article on the ClickZ Experts website: In Social Networks, All Friends Are Not Created Equal.

This is very similar to the conversation I was having – basically that social networks are actually becoming quite ANTI-social and in some cases are causing more problems.

Take the example of the worker recently sacked for checking her Facebook account when she told her employers she had a migrane and couldn’t use a computer.

Or how about the US Police Officer who had his “internet persona” investigated after he posted comments online saying he was in a “devious” mood and “watching ‘Training Day’ to brush up on proper police procedure.”

There are plenty of stories that cover how and why being so social on the web can potentially affect your “real life”, but the main point we discussed was how, in the attempt to be as social as possible, you actually open up doors to areas that maybe were closed for a reason.

Would you share all your photos, personal details, friends details, your moods, thoughts and emotions with someone you meet on the street?  Probably not, but that is potentially what we’re doing when we accept a friend request on Facebook.  How much information would you put on a MySpace account that anyone with a computer could access?

Would you rather spend all your day chatting on an Instant Messenger program, or on a networked role playing game like World of Warcraft or Tales of Pirates, rather than actually go out and meet your friends and spend the day with them?

Take the Wii as another example – an amazing console that brings an extra sense of involvement and engagement to the user when they’re playing.  Fantastic for family get-togethers and all sharing in the fun, essentially creating a social and interactive environment with everyone involved, but where do you draw the line between actively being social with friends, and being anti-social and playing on the computer?

I’ve seen people rave about the exercise games on the Wii and particularly the Yoga training game.  Sounds like a great idea and I understand that it is for some people and their situation, but I would much prefer to actually go to a gym, be social and “meet” people, get my mind and body in the zone and work with a Yoga teacher and expert face to face.

In the rush to get on board the social bandwagon, I think a lot of people have missed the main question of,

“Do I really want to have a personal / business connection with this person?”

The vital second question of,

“What sort of connection do I want to share with this person?”

And finally the question,

“In my current situation, what is the best way to develop and manage this connection?”

Recently I decided to remove a lot of Facebook connections that I’d set up over the years.  It was nothing nasty towards the people I culled, but I wanted to take a more active stance on what information I share with people and how I portray myself on the social web.  Some were acquaintances I knew who were in there just because we knew each other 25 years ago, others were people who I shared special times with and were a very big part of my life .

In each case I asked myself the 3 questions above, do I want to connect (or stay connected) to this person, if yes, what sort of connection should it be, and finally, what is the best way to manage this connection i.e. are we on opposite sides of the planet and hence have to manage an online social experience, or do they live round the corner and I can pop into their house after work, catch up with them and actually be a physical part of their life?

The questions were the same but the answers for the majority of the connections fell into specific categories:

1.    Close friends and family – More than happy to share everything with them as I know and trust them
2.    Business contacts – Happy to share a percentage of my information and must be careful as to how I portray myself to these people
3.    Acquaintances – Friends and colleagues who I know and have had some connection in the past, but I don’t want them to see/know everything about me

There are probably a hundred more categories you could add to this, but until we get the detailed functionality to be able to engage our connections in this way, we may have to take these simple steps to ensure we are presenting ourselves correctly in the social space.  We then need to look at how best to manage the social connection: through the physical space or the digital space.

Let me know your thoughts!

Thanks,
Tony

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